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Robert Weiss is Founding Director of The Sexual Recovery Institute and Director of Sexual Disorders Services at The Ranch Treatment Center and Promises Treatment Centers.
Mary is 38 years old with two children ages 4 and 7.
In addition to the affairs and anonymous sexual liaisons both before and throughout her marriage, Mary also disclosed “losing myself on a daily basis” to 30-40 minutes of porn use with masturbation, “to help calm me down or as a way to get to sleep” for nearly all her adult life.
She simply reported this as “what I do to relax” but she also keeps this secret from her husband.
Even the woman whose sexual and romantic behaviors are causing her profound problems (health, family, relationship, career, etc.) is not likely to identify as having a problem, she is more likely to use terms like, “I have relationship issues” or “I tend to pick the wrong partners.” Because women more often see and experience sexuality in more relational terms then do men – even when a woman is having sex in the same ways and frequency as a male sex addict often won’t identify as having herself as having .
While the primary etiology of male sexual addiction is mostly based in early emotional neglect, covert parental incest and early attachment deficits – female sex addicts report much greater incidences of profound, overt childhood abuse, physical neglect and trauma – often sexual, which leads to sex addiction and intimacy issues in later life.